Thursday, September 25, 2008

An Old Letter to Max

"... I don't think I ever want to fully know what I believe. You're always asking me what I believe and the question has been coming to me more lately as I've become more open to discussing religious matters (in great contradiction to my steadfast opinion that beliefs should not be publicized). I never quite know how to answer this question. It is not for lack of knowledge or faith whatsoever. I do know the core of my beliefs and I believe I know much more about many religions than the majority of people who claim to adhere to them. The reason I never know quite what to say is that my beliefs cannot quite be defined. Furthermore, the intricacies of my practices are in a constant state of evolution. I have my faith and basic intrinsic principles that will never waver but as I learn more and absorb more and more religious scriptures (I'm concurrently reading Exodus and the Bhagavad Gita at the moment), I experiment with various mantras and concepts. This exploration is something I never want to give up. When Chris* and I began to talk about religion (a topic I actually introduced when he mentioned how humans create meaning), he had his beliefs all figured out. It struck me as sad that someone would have every single aspect decided. I would be bored. I think I must remain with a certain degree of my outsider apathy in order to forever explore and learn. My hero, Joseph Campbell, when asked about his religious beliefs always responded with a story about an American visiting Japan. The American said to a Shinto priest, "I've seen you're ceremonies and shrines, but I don't get your ideology. I don't get your theology." After a moment of deep thought, the priest replied, "We don't have ideology. We don't have theology. We dance."

Though I have my opinions regarding ideology and I certainly have my own faith, this quote holds true to myself as it did to Joseph Campbell. You see, when I saw Chris telling me of what he has come to know as the truth, something was missing. When Joseph Campbell spoke, that spark was there. The dance was alive in his mind. The video, The Power of Myth, was recorded during Joseph Campbell's last year on this earth. Yet, in his voice, his posture, and his eyes you would think he was just a boy. His curiosity was still rampant amid his expansive knowledge. If you don't know, he concentrated on mythology and comparative religion. I dare to say he knew more about the beliefs of every culture than any man has before him. Through all of his knowledge, he never lost the "fire in his mind." I suppose that is why I have no desire to ever be able to completely answer what I believe. I always want that ounce of exploration and curiosity to be there. I want to dance."
-Written to Max Cornell on 20 June 2008

*I wrote this letter after having a three hour discussion with an old British man in a coffee shop in my hometown.

2 comments:

Kate said...

I love this.

And me too, man. Me too.

Kate said...

Oh, man! It IS Abarat! I dreamt the Abarat! Dammit... I'm not as original as I thought I was.