Saturday, November 29, 2008

Distastefully Written Prattle Through the Looking Glass

As per usual, I was exponentially less productive this break than I anticipated. It had been my hope to finish all of my work before Thanksgiving Day so I could spent the rest of the break reading leisurely (I have so many books from people that are waiting for me), listening to my 4.3 gigabytes of new music, messing around with Final Cut Express 4 and attempting to relax for once.

Alas, all that will have to wait until Christmas Break when I honestly have no homework (except for three videos to edit for the school and a book to read for Dr. PM's book club next semester).

When will I learn to set reasonable goals for myself? Now, here I could justify my actions by saying that setting unreasonable goals is how one achieves greatness even if one does not fulfill their goals entirely, they've still gotten further than the average person with reasonable goals might (something I do believe). However, the fact of the matter is that I feel ashamed, stressed out and often depressed when I don't accomplish everything I set out for myself to do. It's typically that I don't realize how long it really takes to do things and how often I'll get distracted with friends. I'll have over a month during Winter Break with no essays, no Chinese homework, no infernal World Civ readings. I will be working and more of my friends will be in town, but since I have no obligations (apart from my two jobs) I might just maybe get some recreational reading/writing/research done and relax.

That being said, Winter Break might not be so bad. I hated every moment I had to interact with my father during this break, but it was quite minimal. Plus, my mom is growing ever more to my side. Not to mention work. I went there earlier today and seeing a few people (namely my favorite manager) made me ridiculously happy. Almost as happy as I was yesterday evening at Buon Giorno with Kate watching Will work, making fun of Jeff and speaking in Chinese and Japanese to each other. So there are my two escapes when this Birdcage gets to be too much over winter. Max is making me work with him on Christmas Eve and I intend to spend every other moment that any normal person would be spending with their family either at work, at Buon Giorno or with my friends and their families (or maybe I'll take some road trips to Glen Rose...).

This next week and a half will indeed be hell-ish. Beginning with a four hour road trip back to campus tonight (four hours because the added half hour to get to Austin and then a half hour back to SU) through the finishing of an essay for English and those analyses I never did for Islam to my terrifying Chinese and World Civ finals ending with dorm arrest until I can finish a 10 page final for Islam and three essays for English. Only then will I get to return to the GVC, weary-eyed and lonesome, having completed my first semester of college and thirsting for more.